Dear Friend

The last semester has made me think about many things that are going on in my life. The way I am living it All the things I am grateful for, and the things I am not. The way I cope with other people's opinion in my life, and the stuff I give up just to blend.

You see, I wish I could just say I will not care anymore about what people think or would think and/or would say. But I do. I don't show everything about me to the people I have to deal with daily. That's because I am too afraid to deal with the consequences, which I don't even know.

Yeah, sure, I have understood that people's bad reaction to it usually comes when they face it directly and feel like they have to give their opinion about it. Usually a bad reaction, for it's the conservatively correct way of responding to it.

You see, I am proud of who I am, and I am unable to imagine myself differently or even believe I would make it this far being someone else. But I also can't help feeling that I would be happier the other way. I can't help feeling I wouldn't be letting people down being who I am.

My mom, she is so full of expectations on her children. And she doesn't stop getting disappointed on them, because of their choices, or because of the kind of people they've become. And I just can't feel good about disappointing her, but I can't change the person I am. I am just not capable of succeeding thht way.

I'm not giving any conclusion this time. I am not going to say I am going to fight everyone to be myself, or stop caring about what people say or anything. I am just going to keep on living like I've always done, and, opefully, or not, I will find out what kind of bomb I am, and how close I am from exploding.